Well, last night was interesting.
I think it's really hard to ever come to terms with divorce. What makes you decide that it is time to take a step in the direction of the "D" word?
I've been through several...no, not myself...but with my mom.
She is what I like to call the "serial divorcee." And if I ever had a question as to
how to go about getting a divorce...well let's just say...she could write the book.
I just can't fathom getting married without being happy. I'm all about my own happiness.
If I'm not happy, then I'm out...even if it's not a conscious decision, my self-conscious makes it for me. I guess it stems from taking care of myself for so long. I am number one, and no matter how conceited or self-assured that sounds...it's what works in my case.
Now, I’m not saying that I don't care about others feelings, but not if they are self-deprecating to me. I need to take care of "numero uno" before I can be in any sort of shape to take care of you.
So...back on subject: Divorce.
Being that I have been through so many with my mother I feel that I have some sort of expert opinion on the matter.
Lesson number 1: (in this on going theme, I'm sure)
Do not stay together just "for the kids".
...First of all, it is more harmful than helpful.
A child is a lot more sensitive to vibes, and your feelings, than you may think. They can tell if you aren't happy. They can also (sub consciously) pick up on the act you are putting on.
Do you really want them to grow up and do the same things?
Like mother like daughter or like father like son...don't they always say that?
You know why...because it's the truth...usually. And even if it's only a 20% chance that they may turn out like you...do you really want to risk it?
At the same time...
I know things may always seem awful when you're in them, but what about in hindsight?
Will you get out of the marriage and decide...maybe it wasn't so bad...but now it's gone, and they've moved on and you're left still picking up the pieces of what you started.
Also, when you have someone else in the picture...is it easier to focus on them and focus on the "newness" of the love that your feeling, that way it cushions the blow of the previous relationship...
but if you're still in that relationship, the "new love" can only hurt your chances of
focusing and working the kinks out.
I want what's best for my family, but at the same time I know how detrimental it can be to rush in and out of things...especially marriages or relationships.
When it comes to love we all need to...PAUSE...and take time to think it over.