Dear Tinseltown, I'm so disappointed.

Am on a self-induced hiatus...All the movies I've recently partaken of have been complete and utter SHIT!! Save for one "curly fry in a box of the regular" which was the brilliant British comedy "Death at a Funeral." I havent laughed that hard in I dont know how long...so that is a definite recommendation. Until another gem emerges from this rubble I'm left with my netflixed episode of "Deadwood" to fill the void. *Cheers to a better fall selection!

-sj

ps. This entire blog comes to you from my iPhone...damn you Steve Jobs for making them so bloody irresistible!

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix...finally

I know, I know...I haven't been on in quite sometime. Well, the fact is I tend to write my blog when I shouldn't (i.e. at work) and they finally realized this fact and blocked blogspot.com from our systems...figures. So, now I'm left with having to do this on "my time" which is definitely something I don't give up willingly ;)Anyway, let's get to it then:


Which side will you choose? Good or Evil? That may be the usual question, but in this, the 5th movie in the Harry Potter series, the more pressing decision lies in...Fact or Fiction? Who do you belive Dumbledore or Fudge.

In this epic film we find Harry (Daniel Radcliffe) and his friends returning for their fifth year at Hogwarts, in the middle of a Potter backlash. In the previous film we saw Harry in a deadly encounter with Lord Voldemort (Ralph Fiennes). And yet the news of Potter's discovery, the rebirth of the Dark Lord, is undermined and questioned by the likes of Cornelius Fudge, Minister of Magic. Fudge, in order to keep an eye on Harry and the Headmaster Dumbledore, takes it upon himself to appoint his Undersecretary, Dolores Umbridge (Imelda Staunton), as the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher.

But rather than fulfill her duties as the D.O.A professor, Umbridge uses her power to put in place gazillions of insane rules to detract the students from following or finding truth in any of Dumbledore or Potter's stories of the return of Voldemort. Hermione realizes that with the rise of the Dark Lord, attacks are imminent, so after convincing Harry to lead, they form "Dumbledore's Army", and underground group of students learning Defense against the Dark Arts.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix is another epic chapter in this family fave. And while I would never recommend bypassing the books for the movie David Yates does a nice job of carrying over most of the details. Yates brings a darker quality to the Potter films, one that I feel needs to occur as Harry continues to grow up. We're one step closer to the epic battle, and the pursuit of victory never smelled so sweet.

The JackScore: 3.7 out of 5 stars

More to come...

Next on the list of movies to be blogged...

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

But first, while I am loving being able to state my opinions on these films, without any scrutiny or adverse reaction, I would really love some feedback. Is anyone out there? Is anyone reading this god-forsaken thing? Yes, was that you..did you say something? No, you didn't...or at least haven't been yet. Come on ladies and gents...tell me what you think, do you agree or disagree? Can we agree to disagree?

Do you blog? If yes, give me a link I'll check it out, hell I may even comment you, too! It's a friendly thing, you scratch my back I'll scratch yours. And even if I'm just doing this for me, even if no one is reading this and taking my words into consideration to decide if they actually want to see the next animated feature or summer slam...that's okay. I'm still here, like those alien life-forms we've yet to reach. I'm still out there...somewhere...waiting for a sign.

sj

Transformers

So, I'll admit, I don't remember too much about the cartoon in the 80s. I'm lucky to remember the first few lines of the theme song...

Transformers
More than meets the eye
Transformers
Robots in Disguise

And I'm only lucky enough to remember the name Optimus Prime from one of Dane Cook's jokes about having 15 kids or so and naming them after his favorite Saturday morning cartoon...namely, Transformers. But I knew that I had to see this flick.

First of all, you can't got through the summer without watching at least one big badass action movie. And who does that better than Michael Bay? I mean really? And although I was skeptical, Transformers really does deliver...well, at least as much as a summer blockbuster can. True, there will be no Oscar nods, except maybe for special effects, but if you want a balls-out die hard action film, this is your movie.

Without giving too much away, the plotline goes as follows: Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) buys his first car only to find that there is...well...more to it than meets the eye. His car is actually an alien robot from outer space sent to Earth as his guardian. Sam holds the key to locating a great power source that was lost long ago in which the Autobots (Optimus Prime and his band of good guys) plan to destroy in order to keep the it away from the Decepticons (Megatron and his minions) who plan on using it to destroy the Earth. Alright, you got that? Now bring on the car chases and all out battles!!

Michael Bay sure knows how to keep his audience entertained. And while there's enough eye candy for the males in the audience, he really out does himself for the females. Josh Duhamel is gorgeous!! And Tyrese, with those rippling abs and solid pecs...mm, drool! Shia isn't too shabby either and brings a cute, quirky charm to his character Sam...not that any of us, in a million years, would believe he'd actually end up with the girl. I mean, yeah, I'm a chick, but that girl is flippin' gorgeous!

If hot ladies or gents are your bag the action is enough to get anyone's blood pumping. The car chases here are heavenly! I'll admit, I'm a sucker for a good car chase. I mean they have to be having a blasty blast filming it and they're even more fun to watch. I always want to leave the theater with 20 cop cars waiting to chase me across the freeway! Not that I would, it is only a fantasy! ;)

If ever there was a popular cartoon turned live action award for the best adaptation...I may have to be nominating this epic. Now, don't get me wrong...it is definitely NOT a film. This is a movie: a popcorn eating, soda slurping, clap when it's done, cheer for the heroes, guy-flick. Still, I had a lot of fun, and really what more can you ask for in a summer movie?

The JackScore: 3.7 out of 5 stars

Ratatouille

So far...these so-called "summer blockbusters" have been just that...a bust. Spider-Man 3 was a bust, as well as Shrek 3 and Fantastic 4 (Part 2). Pirates had its moments, and so far I thought that was about as good as it was going to get. Enter, Ratatouille...

Ratatouille is...dare I say...the savior of this summer full of movie fiascos. Pixar, those little scoundrels, could make anything funny. A rat for example: dirty, nasty, flea-infested rodents, that I now look at in a new light. I want a cute little rat to cook me omelets and sleep in an oven mitt! Come on, after seeing this film, who wouldn't!

Remy is a fantastic rat who finds himself alone in the wonderful city of Paris, France. He has been blessed with the talent to be able to smell ingredients: rosemary, sage, flour...he can smell it all! He dreams of one day becoming a famous chef, like his mentor Chef Gusteau, the youngest chef to ever receive a 5 star rating. He finds his way to Gusteau's restaurant and is taken in by Linguini, a lowly garbage attendant, and together they become the hottest thing in Paris...since, well...French bread!

The great thing about a Pixar film, is it's ability to translate to kids as well as adults. Finding Nemo was another perfect example of this. They bring about themes that are relatable to more that one generations. And also incorporate morals that aren't (proverbially) shoved down our throats. One of this film's moral: If you put you're mind to it, you can achieve any goal. And Remy is the epitome of the underdog...or under-rat maybe I should say. He faces adversity not only from his family and friends, but also almost every other living human being, as well as the health department! This is a funny, heartwarming, completely adorable "tail" for the whole family. I've seen it twice!!

Not only do these Pixar boys know what they're doing with the plot line...the images here are breathtaking! Whodathunkit, there's a scene relatively early on in the film where Remy is about to bite into a piece of French bread. I mean you literally cannot tell that it is animated! Down to every single crumb and morsel, the food in this film is completely believable, so much so that I was craving a 5 star dish once the movie was finished (I settled on Zio's instead, but only because there isn't an adequate French restaurant in our vicinity). And Paris!! Oh my word, if that is not the most incredible sky line you have ever seen in a film, I don't know what is! Nearly better than the real thing!

If nothing else...maybe the rat doesn't strike your fancy or you're not a "foodie" then you should at least go see this movie for the Academy Award nominated short "Lifted" that plays as a prelude before Ratatouille. There may not be any dialogue in this short, but it is definitely laugh out loud funny. Enough said.



The JackScore: 4.5 out of 5 stars